There’s a lot to keep a fellow busy these days, but on Monday evenings I treasure the time that I have protected in my schedule for my 14-year-old son and I to attend men’s group at our church. The last few weeks have been particularly rewarding as we begin a series called “The Quest for Authentic Manhood.”
It’s part of the “Men’s Fraternity” video series recorded a number of years ago by a pastor named Robert Lewis. He describes the classes as “an adventure to discover how to be better men.”
Our church offered this class a dozen years ago, and I remember it being insightful and helpful.
This class isn’t particularly preachy, but it does find great wisdom in the most-read book in history. I was inspired in my parenting by this verse from Proverbs 20:7 — "The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him."
My father and generations of grandfathers gave me this blessing. If I do nothing else, I pray the Lord will help me do the same for my own wife and children.
The class focuses on things that most of us could easily agree on — truths like the fact that integrity is the best gift we can give our sons and daughters. We have to live it to give it. They need our guidance to help them create a core of integrity out of which they can build a solid, good life.
It also offers other insights. One of my takeaways was the reality that, for most of human history, boys followed in the footsteps of their fathers. The dad’s trade was the lad’s trade.
Only in the last century or so have young men had to find their own way in a wide-open world. While potentially exhilarating, it’s also overwhelming. It’s easy to get lost and lonely along the way.
I’d invite all of you to join us Monday evenings at Exit 72 from 6 to 7:30 p.m. for this men’s group (note that we’re not meeting on President’s Day).
Bring along a teenaged boy in your life. You’ll find humble discussions, unique insights and a great group of men who can help mentor and become companions, no matter your age. There are also free hearty dinners and tasty desserts involved (which has helped motivate my teenage boy and, truth be told, my own hungry inner teenager.)
I’d love to hear about other similar projects going on in Lewis County, whether in your church or outside of it. Send me an email and let me know how you are part of a group that is strengthening men.
Let me clarify that I’m writing about men because it’s a firsthand reality for me and my son, but this issue is certainly also critical for girls and women. I’d love to hear about great women’s groups meeting in our area, especially those focused on helping girls grow into the kind of strong, capable and caring women our society needs and that my family is blessed to have in my wife and daughter.
When men and women thrive, our families and communities are better in countless ways.
Beyond belief
The quest to strengthen manhood and support our boys isn’t a religious or partisan project.
Our state Legislature, for example, is considering a bill put forward by Democrats to create a Washington State Commission on Boys and Men.
“The legislature finds that on many fronts men and boys struggle at a higher rate,” House Bill 2401 states. “Boys are struggling in school, with a lower average grade point average and a growing gap in graduation rates ... The Legislature finds that addressing men's issues and improving the emotional wellbeing of men and increasing their sense of belonging will have a positive impact on larger societal issues such as loneliness, isolation, and gender-based violence.”
Whether this commission is actually created (by statute, it would have to raise private funds to pay for its operation without state tax revenue), I’m not sure it would be aimed in the right direction. The bill states that a majority of the people appointed to the commission would have to “self-identify as male,” a meaningless modern concept and phrasing which tells me it misses the mark on authentic manhood.
Still, it’s heartening to see that people across the political spectrum recognize the need to help our boys become good men who can rise to meet the needs of their families and community.
Let me know how you see this happening in your communities and circles — and maybe I’ll see you at Men’s Fraternity. Let’s grow together.
Brian Mittge is a community enthusiast who has written for The Chronicle since 2000 as a reporter, editor and columnist. He can be reached at brianmittge@hotmail.com.
