I write about a lot of things.
Sometimes it's history. Sometimes it's family. Sometimes it's about feeling good. Sometimes it’s about funny or humorous things. Sometimes it’s about health and mental health.
Some of you will recall how last year, around this time, I wrote about my son Jonathan and the tree Connie and I put up every year in his memory (Jonathan’s tree).
Since my subject matter comes from a lot of things I remember, read or just everyday stuff, here’s another memory.
I remember one Christmas not too long ago when Connie and I were visiting mom. My mom told me, “I looked into the mirror one day and said to myself, ‘who is this old woman staring back at me? I don’t recognize her. I have in my mind that I am still young, so it makes me sad to see me this way.”
I really didn’t know what to say. My first instinct was to tell her she still looked young or that she was only as old as she feels, or that age is just a number.
So, I just said, “no matter how you look, or how you think you look, you will always be beautiful to me.”
My comment made her smile and she gave me a hug.
My mom was never satisfied with herself and that made me sad because I wanted her to see what I see, but she just couldn’t.
This all got me thinking.
Where did we get the idea that only young is beautiful? Are wrinkles really that bad? Is growing older and eventually dying so awful?
For many of us, myself included, growing old is not pleasant. It is inevitable, but we fight it to the bitter end.
Let me ask you: Do you do things to avoid the inevitable (aging and dying)?
We all do things to avoid both.
Don’t get me wrong here. It’s OK that we do these things.
The way I see it, if it makes us feel better about ourselves, then why not?
It's OK to do the things we do to avoid the inevitable. That is until it becomes the thing we always do, or endlessly obsess over.
Here’s the dilemma: If we spend so much time worrying about how we look, or that extra 10 pounds or the newest wrinkle, we miss the beauty of being older and wiser and simply living.
To me, my mom and my dad for that matter were beautiful because of the people they were, not how they looked.
How do we then live and not obsess over how we look? For one, other people don't see us like we do. We can begin to accept who are and who we are not.
No one will say when we are gone, “They were amazing at losing weight.”
But they will remember how much you loved.
How about we choose living and loving this Christmas season?
I wish you and your family a happy and joyous holiday filled with love!
Richard Stride is the current CEO of Cascade Community Healthcare. He can be reached at drstride@icloud.com.
