The campaign is over.

“Well,” King Donald says, “it will be hard to bring down grocery prices. We need Greenland. Maybe we should buy Greenland. If they won’t sell we could just take it.”

Canada will be the 51st state.

Take back the Panama Canal!

Invade Gaza. Uh, er, Mexico.

Pathetic Lewis County MAGA, you are not even part of King Donald’s cult. He could care less about you. You are his marks. His cult is the billionaires who sat with him inside the Capitol rotunda while regular MAGA folks like you froze outside.

The price of eggs is high because farmers have been slaughtering laying hens by the millions due to the  H5N1 bird flu outbreak. There has also been much profiteering from inflated prices by grocery middlemen.

Not to worry. King Donald plans to shut down the FDA and CDC, who monitor things like bird flu. Well, you know, they only bring bad news, and we know what kings have always done to people who bring bad news.

Though it has not yet posed a serious threat to humans, bird flu has shown the ability to develop mutations that will succeed very well in humans. H5N1 does jump into the human population and Washington is one of six states where it has done so. As of this writing, Washington has had 14 cases of humans contracting bird flu.

The first U.S. human fatality from bird flu occurred on Jan. 6 in Louisiana. An elderly man with underlying conditions. A 13-year-old girl in Canada got so sick she had to be put on a ventilator. Like COVID-19, we may be ignoring the early warning signs. Some H5N1 vaccines are in the national stockpile that target older strains of the virus, but scientists believe would still provide some protection.

The CDC is monitoring the situation very closely. It’s what the Deep State does. But they are only a conspiracy theory away from King Donald shutting their doors.

King Donald’s nominee for Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., says not to worry. Vaccines don’t work anyway. Herd immunity is the answer, he says. Of course, that is what vaccines do. They create herd immunity.  Without all the dead bodies.

The King’s choice to lead the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, the TV huckster, quack medicine promoter, Dr. Mehmet Oz  has said many times he believes if you cannot afford medical insurance you don’t deserve to have it. Will all the people in ruby red Lewis County who can afford to pay their medical bills out of pocket please raise your hand? I thought so.

So, MAGA Lewis County, how many times does King Donald have to slap you in the face before you awaken to the fact it is you who have Trump Derangement Syndrome?

If a new pandemic strikes, not to worry, King Donald will make it all better by gaslighting. Like before, saying it is not really happening.

Or threaten military action to take back the Philippines.

Marty Ansley

Cinebar