What do you call temporarily stashing money in voters’ pockets only to withdraw it later?
A bribe? A tax break? A subsidy?
Hey, let’s just call it money laundering. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
“The people will just ‘pump’ it all back.”
And the toll at the pump is “a small price to pay for our freedom.”
MAGA cheers, and taking the cue, the president immediately ups the ante.
”Maybe more.” (More to pay, or more freedom? He doesn’t say. I hope it’s more pay. I couldn’t stand much more freedom.)
And just when everything is looking rosy, The Chronicle’s adopted article whispers in our ear — “Trump’s proposal is illegal.”
But hold on. The details of this pesky law are slighted, not cited. The author immediately whisks us down the chute and we land in a feather bed of sweet dreams. Buying votes is what makes this country great. It’s a time-honored American tradition. It’s what our country was founded on: Bribery and the Bible. (Take the bribe and buy a Bible from the man while you’re at it.)
The article then gives us the bare facts to assuage our misgivings. We are informed that George Washington himself dished out $5,000 worth of alcohol apiece to each and every citizen of age in our newly created nation and no one thought a single thing about it. What’s wrong with our president stooping down just this once and following his inferiors’ example?
GOP lawmakers may be “lukewarm” concerning such lawless capers, but that condition may be remedied by looking up the law and applying a cold compress to the forehead to ease the shock.
Here we go. Caution: Breaking the law is an exciting venture, simply reading the statutes less so.
18 U.S. Code § 597 - Expenditures to influence voting: Whoever makes or offers to make an expenditure to any person, either to vote or withhold his vote, or to vote for or against any candidate; and Whoever solicits, accepts, or receives any such expenditure in consideration of his vote or the withholding of his vote — shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both; and if the violation was willful, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.”
“Makes or offers.” It has been offered, but Trump’s lawyer (the attorney general) is far too busy campaigning for his client and burying the Hatch Act to be bothered with such trivialities concerning law enforcement.
Also note that the wild card in this deck is a provision that could award “every adult citizen” complementarily housing in a prison for profit for a couple of years. Hey, we’re talking about socialism here. Free room and board supplied by the feds.
And there is only one felon in this country who is allowed to vote, and we know how the wind blows for him.
Everybody wins. Large potatoes!
Dennis Shain
Centralia
