Centralia Middle Schoolers Share ‘What They Wish Adults Knew About Kids These Days’

The middle school years are a complex time in a young person’s life. It can be a time of self-discovery as they try to navigate the world and work to find their place in it. We often turn to the experts — doctors, psychologists and counselors — to tell us how kids are doing amid the pandemic, but we don’t often hear from the young teens directly. 

“The importance of listening to students and giving them a voice helps us understand their world and it allows us to be able to address their needs in a quality manner,” Centralia Middle School Principal Kristeen Johnson said.

In Centralia Middle School teacher Holly Abbarno’s homeroom class, they focus on social-emotional support, career readiness and relationship building each week. On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the students watched the “I Have a Dream” speech, which was followed by a “call to action” asking students to answer some questions. One of the questions posed by the Association of the Washington Student Leaders asked the middle schoolers: “What do you wish the world knew about kids these days?” 

Abbarno said the students were inspired to make their voices heard and to help adults understand how they are feeling in the midst of a pandemic and a politically turbulent time.

“The next day, I opened (their responses) up and I started reading them and I actually started crying — they were so thoughtful and heartbreaking and so important. It was really powerful,” Abbarno said.

The middle schoolers’ answers shared common themes of feeling misunderstood, feeling the pressures to act a certain way in today’s society and the feeling of not being good enough.

“Another thing I picked up on is that they feel like as adults, we are letting them down — that we’re not setting good examples for them. There were a couple of responses that said ‘hey we’re watching you, we’re the future and we’re going to model what we see — adults need to step up their game,’” Abbarno said.

Johnson said she was excited that the middle school staff is allowing students to grow and open up at school. 

Abbarno chose a few of the middle schoolers’ responses that she felt represented the voice of many to share with The Chronicle’s readers. 

•••

“Whether anyone likes it or not, myself included, the future belongs to us. We’ll run this place when you’re gone, so you’ll have to make sure that we don’t mess it up when the time comes.  We will most likely hold the beliefs our role models hold, and right now, there are a lot of bad role models to take influence from. Make sure you set a good example. The world’s on fire right now, so it’s hard to see eye-to-eye with a lot of people. Just don’t go around peddling hate and breaking into government buildings. People are selfish and mean, and they only care about themselves. Nothing will fix that. Just make sure that those character traits aren’t inhabited by the president in 2050. Make sure we are the responsible adults a lot of you couldn’t be.”

•••

“We’re human too, the way we look, speak, dress, does not change who we are inside. The world scares us, it laughs in our face, it tells us we aren't good enough; we’re not smart or pretty enough, we don’t have enough muscle or are not skinny enough. So much is expected of us but when we ask for help or tell somebody, we aren't believed. We are called attention-seeking or dramatic or to suck it up. We are told how easy we have it and how bad it was growing up in other generations, but life is hard right now too. The world we are almost powerless in is in a pandemic and full of hate. But our voices count too, we are people too. Some of us know what we’re talking about when we say we aren't OK. Being a teenager is hard. You all did it too. You know what it’s like and you know what it’s like to live in this world … We have to do both, balance being a child in an adult's place,  but never treated like an adult until we need to be a child. Yes, our world is at home right now, but that’s not fun. It means we can't focus, we fail, we’re alone. Take us seriously when we ask for help. Trouble makers are the exception, not the rule. The world will be passed on to us. Please treat us and the world like it.”

•••

“Something I wish the world knew about ‘kids these days’ is when you guys say ‘just go outside and walk to your friend’s house. We did it when we were kids.’ Today’s world is a lot more dangerous than it was when you were kids. When you were kids, did you worry about possibly getting beat up for stuff? Did you have to take pepper spray with you when you went for walks because you worried that you were going to be kidnapped? So when we ask you to drive us to our friend’s house, it's not because we are being lazy. It’s because we are scared something’s going to happen to us. So when we call our friends rather than go to their house, it’s because we are scared. Please learn to understand that we aren’t perfect.”

•••

“Taking kids’ phones or technology away when they’re stressed, anxious or depressed does not help. You basically just cut off our link to our friends who help us through the stuff we can’t talk to our parents about. Other people our age will understand what we’re going through right now the best. We know our parents went through middle school once too, but did they do it online? We live in a world where everything happens on social media or the internet, and if you take away our access to those things, you’re depriving us of knowing what’s going on in our world. We can’t just go hang out with our friends, so if we need to talk to someone, we have to text or call them. We can’t do that if you won’t let us have access to our devices.”

•••

“What I wish people knew about kids these days is that we are the future whether you like it or not. And with the situation the world is in right now, the future may seem dark, out of reach,  or not possible, but kids these days are what is going to make it possible. The future is bright and so are kids these days.”

•••

“We aren't all the same. Some of us do good things. Help out. Do good for themselves. Some of us do bad things. Mistakes. Decisions not thought through. Some adults think all this generation is just a bunch of phone-glued vapers or something, but that’s not true. Different people like doing different things. I’ll admit, I like going on my phone every once in a while, but if I could, I would be outside ripping on my quad. Other people, well, a lot of people like being on their phones, TikToking or something, so it would make sense that adults would assume that, but that’s not true. There are so many kids, so many different personalities, so many different things they like to do. What if kids were going around always saying all adults just like sitting around and watching TV or something. That is not cool. Adults wouldn’t like it, but most likely, they’re doing the same thing to the kids. Stereotyping. Stereotyping isn’t something cool to do. It’s like seeing a sleeping dog and saying all dogs just sit there and sleep. That’s obviously not true. That’s like seeing one adult sit there and watch TV, and say all adults just sit there and watch TV. Not true, obviously. That’s like seeing or hearing about one kid being glued to their phone and vaping, then saying all kids do that. That, well, is obviously not true.”

•••

“I wish that people would understand and accept mental disorders. Everyone thinks people fake it for attention and that it's popular now. But it's not. No one wants those disorders, so that's what I wish people would understand. That they understand if we get mad, upset or angry, there isn’t always a reason or problem. We just don’t want to be happy as if right there. It doesn't give you a reason to yell at us or be mad at us. Sometimes we have bad or sad days too. Sometimes we don’t meet the general expectations of the previous generations because we lack hardships and that can be mentally challenging knowing that we might not perceive what others want us to perceive.”

•••

“Something I want people to know about us is that we have a lot going on mentally in our heads, we’re scared that we’re not enough, that we won’t ever be enough. Our emotions drive us crazy, and having so much responsibility on our plate can get so stressful, and I don’t think parents, teachers and siblings really understand what we go through in one day. I’m not saying we don’t deserve responsibility, but sometimes you guys expect the wrong responsibility from us. Not everyone goes through this, but I know for sure a lot more younger people go through this than older people. Sometimes we just need someone there or us, but then when we go to people they expect us to be all happy and okay. When really, we are all stressed, angry at ourselves and sad. I know some people who don’t even try to do anything. This is all because no one is helping them or being there for them. Sometimes we need a reminder that you love us and that we’re good enough.”

••• 

“That we can have hard and tough times too.”

•••

“Something I would like people to know about kids these days is that it is not all that easy — we have struggles too. One day I am up and about getting things done and the next I will be in bed all day and won’t get out until I have to. 

In this time especially, it is much harder. Everything is online, we don’t get to see our friends, and we have so many expectations that just seem impossible when they should be very simple.”

•••

“Kids these days have problems too.”

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“Sometimes we may get caught up in the action and make a decision that is not like us, and it may be a poor decision that others don’t like. That doesn’t make us bad, it means we are kids and still learning right from wrong.”

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“We don't want to be treated like a child. We are teenagers and should start being treated like young adults.”

•••

“Stop yelling at us for everything we do and don’t do. If we don’t do our chores right away, trust us to get them done, we have school work too.”

•••

“Kids these days have to do homework for seven classes all online and help around the house too. Adults don't know how to help us and sometimes it’s too much for us.”