At Tuesday’s ceremony opening the Southwest Washington Fair, the radiance of Lewis County’s royalty sparkled on the stage. From Miss Lewis County to the Rodeo Queen candidates (whose tiaras were tastefully mounted on their cowboy hats), the beauty, grace and talent of our county’s young women were great to see.
As they were introduced, my old high school buddy Mike, who joined me at the fair during a visit back to his hometown from Australia, whispered to me, “what about royalty for guys?”
It’s a good question, and one that’s been asked (and answered) before.
Local man Aaron VanTuyl, co-host of Lewis County’s best and/or worst podcast, mentioned in this week’s News Dump that years ago he wrote a column suggesting that a “Little Mister Rowdy” competition might be a fun and/or chaotic companion to Little Miss Friendly.
Another idea presented itself to me several times this week: A glorious return of the once-mighty Hay King.
This was a winner declared annually in fairs a few generations ago, recognizing the best man to grow animal feed upon local fields.
Just down the Midway, a display in the fair’s fine Lewis County Historical Museum building has pictures of past Hay Kings.
In 1969, Salzer Valley dairy farmer Clarence Watterson had the honor of wearing the tall paper crown for his most excellent bale of second-cutting alfalfa. He took the crown from 1968’s winner, Adolph Kacick of Chehalis.
The Chronicle’s history archives this week had a picture of 1975’s winner, a young Gary Mohoric of Curtis, who won the crown and a ribbon for Best Bale of Hay.
Agriculture is still the heart of the fair. The youngsters with their show animals are keeping alive and thriving the best part of Lewis County’s rural heritage.
There has been an overall decline in commercial agriculture in our area since the 1960s and 70s, unfortunately. Still, bucking hay is a summer tradition for a lot of folks (including my children). There’s even still a competition at the fair for best hay bale.
I’d like to see a celebrated return of the Hay King, but perhaps in a different form for the 21st century.
I propose a bale-bucking competition and other feats of strength and skill to declare a teenage Hay King.
There are all sorts of possibilities. How about a footrace carrying a bale in each hand. How high can you toss it? Six bales high, seven? How straight and high can you stack? How red is your neck? How distinct is your farmer’s tan?
Guys aged 16 to 19 are invited. Strength, farm savvy and rugged good looks all combine to make for a Hay King, Lewis County’s once and future Guy Royalty.
He could reign all year, riding in summer parades on a float consisting of hay bales, wearing a worn-out baseball cap, tossing tiny bales of twine to all the eager children, holding his fists in the air in victory and just generally flexing his muscles.
It’s the royal dude that Lewis County deserves.
Of course, we do have a young king of the fair already: the winner of this year’s Diaper Derby. All hail Tony Delos Santos, champion crawler and a prince among pre-toddlers.
He might be the youngest member of Lewis County’s royal family (if you don’t count the First Baby of the Year).
I see great things ahead for him. Heck, if he is introduced to the summer hay season when he reaches the right age, he might just win the Hay King crown at the 2042 Southwest Washington Fair.
Long live the King.
Dad Joke of the Week
What’s your favorite way to experience the delicious sounds of the Fair... ears of corn on the cob at the Rotary Booth, or elephant ears? Honestly, both of them sound good to me!
Brian Mittge is a community enthusiast who has written for The Chronicle since 2000 as a reporter, editor and columnist. He can be reached at brianmittge@hotmail.com.
