The world is too much with us; late and soon... We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
— William Wordsworth, c. 1802
Last night, my phone didn’t go to bed with me. I plugged it in downstairs, alongside my kids’ phones, at a charging station in the kitchen.
Instead of scrolling during bedtime, I talked with my wife. I read. I journaled for the first time in a month. I pretended not to notice our don’t-look-at-me-cat on the bed, who pretended I wasn’t there.
I had a great night’s sleep.
This morning, I consciously did not pick up my phone when I awoke. I talked with my wife. I ate Rice Chex by the handful. I lifted some middle-aged-man-sized weights. I read my Bible and prayed.
I had a great morning.
And it was challenging. I missed my digital Mephistophes. I kept reaching for my phone that wasn’t there.
Extracting ourselves from the ever-enticing allure of our phones, tables, screens and earbuds is one of the chief troubles of today.
For adults, those of us who “grew up in the 1900s,” we at least remember a pre-screen era. We know it’s possible. If we think back, we can remember when talking to real people and doing things in real life was more common, was more expected, was more a part of the daily flow. It was a time when we had socializing, and we had media, and they weren’t tied together in the Gordian Knot that bedevils us today.
And yet, even knowing that there is an alternative, we adults are enraptured.
What about the kids? It’s even harder for them.
A whole generation now has grown up on screens. It’s how they’ve navigated friendships and romance — it’s been their way of seeking knowledge, entertainment, meaning and identity.
And it hasn’t gone well.
Jonathan Haidt, in his deservedly influential 2024 book “The Anxious Generation,” tracks the through-line of depression rising along with smartphone use. It’s particularly devastating for young people who pick up phones and social media before age 16 or so.
(It’s why my kids all had “dumb phones” until about that age, much to their chagrin — they didn’t know it was a gift I was giving them to help them have more success navigating those tough years and moving into healthy adulthood.)
But this is much easier said than done. My kids had scant company being phoneless in middle and early high school. When only one or two kids are sticking their heads up to look around the lunchroom as the rest focus on their screens, it’s a bit of a lonely life in the real world.
Which is why I’m so excited and heartened by the upcoming “device-free weekend challenge” put together by a group of school board directors who call their new group Lewis County Thriving Generation.
They encourage any and all of us to put our phones away on Friday, April 24, and not pick them up again until Sunday the 26th. (Or maybe just use them to make calls! It worked for us back in the 1900s.)
They encourage us to “unplug, reconnect, and recharge — together!”
It’s a great reason and excuse to get out and get connected with neighbors IRL (in real life).
A few excellent options:
A break from our phones, tablets and screens is the right way to start re-engaging with real life. People are messy and imperfect, but filtering our social interactions and politics behind phones has made us more anxious, more bitter, more brittle and more alone than ever before.
The answer is all around us. The buds are emerging on the trees. The flowers are coming out of the ground. And it’s time for us to emerge from our digital winter, too.
Brian Mittge is a community enthusiast who has written for The Chronicle since 2000 as a reporter, editor and columnist. He can be reached at brianmittge@hotmail.com.
