Ageism is a problem. Why aren’t we talking about it?
We don’t talk about it because talking about age or getting older is not a good thing, right? Wrong.
Ageism has been called “the last socially acceptable prejudice.” Age discrimination is pervasive in our society. Not sure if that’s true? Look at one of the largest sections in your local drug store. It’s the anti-aging section.
Face creams, wrinkle removers, anti-aging supplements, makeup, the list goes on and on.
Have you seen the commercials advertising Botox cosmetic treatment? I don’t know about you, but the before and after images don’t look that different. Why? We look at the before and after and think to ourselves, “Well, that does look better, by cracky” (by cracky is what my grandpa used to say when he wanted to emphasize something he said).
No, it’s not better, just more makeup. Don’t get me started on birthday cards or memes poking fun at the elderly.
According to Dr. Joann Montepare, director of the RoseMary B. Fuss Center for Research on Aging and Intergenerational Studies, “ageism is this odd ‘-ism’ in that it’s still socially acceptable in many ways.”
Montepare is correct. We as a society are obsessed with looking youthful, so even talking about getting older is taboo. It’s seen as a tragedy if we develop age spots, loose skin, and, worst of all, wrinkles.
Ageism has many negative ramifications for individuals’ mental and psychological wellbeing.
But aging is not all negative. In fact, research bears out that most stereotypes about aging are just plain wrong.
According to Manfred Diehl, a professor of human development and family studies at Colorado State University, “when we say aging isn’t all negative, it's not that we are putting on rose-colored lenses. This is based on rigorous science.”
I think it's time we take a hard look at ageism.
It’s a falsehood that most Americans buy into. You might be thinking, “but some things do change as we age.” Yes, there are changes. We sleep less. We are less active. We are more at risk for diseases and dementia.
However, most older Americans are just fine. They maintain good health and are cognitively functioning well. Older people are more accepting and conscientious. They are in better mental health than younger adults and report less stress.
I’ll give you a good example from my own life about change as we age.
My parents were very conservative Christians. My sisters and I were not allowed to go to school dances or the movies, and Mom and Dad never drank any alcohol (not drinking is not a bad thing at all).
I grew up thinking that doing these things were somehow evil and anti-Christian. But as Mom and Dad got older, they changed. Social mores were not as black and white as they once were. They didn’t go out dancing, not because they still believed it was evil, but because they weren’t that interested. Their strict rigidity on movies and having wine changed, too, especially for Dad. My dad grew up going to movies as a kid. My mom did not. But they both enjoyed going to movies when they got older.
For Dad, movies became an every weekend thing. Mom didn’t like the taste of any alcohol, so she rarely drank. Dad would have a strawberry daiquiri when they would go out to eat, but only one. No alcohol was kept in their home. They knew my sisters and I liked to have a glass of wine every now and then, so it wasn’t a big deal as they got older. In fact, they never said anything about the wine.
The dissenting view of getting older is false and it is minacious.
“The narrative that age is decline, age is burden, hurts everyone: individuals, families, communities and society,” said Dr. Nancy Morrow-Howell, professor of social policy and expert gerontology at Washington University in St Louis.
So how do we confront ageism? We begin by talking to each other. Intergenerational communication gives us insight into each other, but talking alone will not solve the problem. One innovative way to combat ageism I read about was pairing high school students with older adults for intergenerational wisdom sharing.
Very cool idea, don't you think? The more we interact with the people who we are prejudiced against, the more we find our stereotypes are based on nothing more than falsehoods, preconceived notions on who people are rather than who they truly are.
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Richard Stride is the current CEO of Cascade Community Healthcare. He can be reached at drstride@icloud.com.
