Whether it was a catalyst or a corrosive force that prevented treatment, shame plays a role in addiction, according to a panel at the Lewis County Opioid Summit at Centralia College on Thursday.
“Shame played a role during my addiction, just because of the choices I made, the bad things I did, the horrible mother I was,” panelist Leah Rader said. “And I kind of dug myself a deeper hole with that shame, which made it harder to seek recovery.”
While much of the event focused on how to effectively treat and address a staggering increase in opioid usage, not only in Lewis County but throughout the country, the panel offered first-hand testimony of some of the barriers to seeking treatment.
“We have a list of questions for you all to give you a small glimpse into the mind of an addict, a brother, a sister, a parent, a community partner and a professional,” said moderator Caitlin Rogers, an outreach worker for the Lewis County Drug Court.
In introducing the panel, which offered a firsthand perspective as the country sets records for drug overdoses and deaths, Rogers announced the “clean date” for each participant, to cheers from the crowd.
• Brooke Reder — Dec. 25, 2018
• Daniel “DJ” Miller — Aug. 16, 2022
• Leah Rader — Nov. 15, 2017
• Bryan Sturgill — May 13, 2021
According to Rader and the other panelists, family members of those in addiction should “love us at a distance.”
“We won’t be ready until we’re ready,” she said. “And don’t give up, because hopefully everyone will find their thing that makes them want to live again. Just be there whenever they turn the page.”
Across the country, research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found nearly 70% of the overdose deaths in 2022 involved illegally manufactured fentanyl, a powder commonly smoked or ingested rather than injected through a syringe.
“I think we’re all in agreement that fentanyl has changed everything, and I think it will continue to change everything,” Rogers said, “until it’s either gone, or it’s changed again.”
According to the Washington state Department of Health (DOH), 28 people died of an opioid overdose in Lewis County in 2022, and 70% of overdose deaths in the county involved opioids.
“That’s the one thing I think about addiction: no matter what we do, it always evolves,” Rogers said. “The best thing that we can do is adapt to that evolution to support the needs of the people.”
Rogers, a former participant in Lewis County Drug Court, now assists others in the voluntary program for those struggling with addiction and charged with a felony. Drug Court typically lasts between 16 and 22 months, and successful graduates have their criminal charges dismissed.
In December, Miller became one of the latest graduates of the program. The panel revealed some of the obstacles on the road to recovery, including a stigma that surrounds people in active addiction or early recovery.
“You can see the disgust in people’s eyes. You can see that they don’t want to make eye contact with you, let alone be on the sidewalk with you,” Reder said. “People don’t look at you. They look through you, like you’re not even human anymore.”
The stigma, Reder said, reinforced the notion “that this is all my life is going to be and I’m not worth anything more than being that junky addict who lives in a tent.”
The stigma can manifest itself in other forms, the panelists said, whether it’s from family members, trying to gain employment or different forms of treatment. According to the panelists, early recovery had other challenges.
“There’s 24 hours in a day, and we were using a good bit of that to seek out, to use, or to recover from using,” Sturgill said. “And now we’re sober, and there’s still 24 hours in a day, and we haven’t plugged anything healthy in.”
Sturgill said he uses his time seeking assistance and helping others, while surrounding himself with friends and family that act as “cheerleaders.”
The panel also showed the different paths to recovery people may take.
Sturgill, for example, said the process lasted roughly two decades, and included 12 visits to either inpatient or outpatient treatment. Through medicated assisted treatment, Sturgill said he found the tools necessary to make different choices.
“So it wasn’t for a lack of effort,” Strurgill said.
