People of the Year: Brynn Johnson and Cassie Miller of Raise for Rowyn

The world changed for Tenino residents Brynn Johnson, Cassie Miller and their families on Sept. 16, 2014.

The death of Rowyn Johnson provoked intense grief that remains to this day and likely will never fully subside. 

Still, amid their sorrow, the women formed a powerful bond that led to the creation of Raise for Rowyn, a nonprofit organization focused on assisting families who have experienced the death of a child. 2015 was a year of incredible growth for the nonprofit. It was a time of national television appearances and the collection of thousands of dollars in donations.  It was also another year of mourning for Johnson and Miller, who rose above their emotions to enact positive change that now spans the country. 

Harnessing Grief, Providing Hope: How Two Women Have Battled Sorrow to Help Others Following the Death of Rowyn Johnson

The similarities were too much for Brynn Johnson as she watched a friend’s beautiful blond girl bounce around joyfully at a recent birthday party. 

Before long, the Tenino woman had collapsed against a wall and the tears that she’s perpetually attempting to prevent were flowing freely down her face. 

Later, on Christmas Eve, Cassie Miller was expressing her grief as well, crying uncontrollably while seated in her vehicle at a cemetery, praying out loud as she intensely contemplated the events that led her there. 

Johnson and Miller were both weeping with memories of the life and loss of the same young girl, killed in the driveway of Johnson’s home on Sept. 16, 2014. 

Johnson lost her daughter that day. 

Miller inadvertently caused her death.

It’s a tragedy that threatened to destroy both their lives and almost certainly their friendship. 

Instead, they’ve emerged from those emotional valleys — all the painful holidays, birthdays and constant reminders of the vibrant 17-month-old bundle of love — as living proof that sorrow and grief can be harnessed as a powerful force for enacting good in the world. 

Since the day Rowyn walked out of the house and into the driveway unbeknownst to both women and was killed by a moving vehicle, her name has become widely known.

Johnson, Miller and a team of friends and community members created Raise for Rowyn just three months after her death. 

Johnson put a couple thousand dollars in a bank account to get it started in December 2014

In the time since, the fledgling nonprofit organization has helped pay the funeral expenses for more than 30 children who, like Rowyn, left the world long before their family and friends were ready to say goodbye. 

In all, Johnson and Miller have paid out more than $40,000 through Raise for Rowyn, claiming early success in battling one of Johnson’s greatest fears. 

“I don’t want my daughter to be forgotten,” she said. 

A Familiar Story

The plight of Johnson and Miller is now familiar to many, not only in Western Washington but across the country. 

In the past few months, they’ve seen national exposure for Raise for Rowyn through television appearances on “Dr. Phil” and “Inside Edition,” in addition to interviews with the The Chronicle and other regional media outlets. 

Time and time again, they recount a morning that both of them desperately wish had never happened. Instead of running away from their sorrow, though, they’ve chosen to persistently charge it head-on in hopes of helping others. 

It’s a conscious decision the two have made, one that both feeds and soothes the pain neither can escape. 

Aside from monetary assistance, Johnson has replied to correspondence from people throughout the country who have experienced the death of a young one. 

It can make for an uneven dynamic. 

Johnson recalled speaking to a mother who lost her child five years ago. She was seeking advice and support from Johnson, a woman with fresh memories of Rowyn’s death just 15 months ago.

“It’s challenging,” Johnson said. “I have to get in the right frame of mind before.”

Often she corresponds with other parents as she’s up late at night feeding her infant daughter Mynrow, who arrived in this world the same night the “Dr. Phil” special aired on television. 

The national interest, rapid growth of the organization and consistent requests for assistance lead to surreal moments when both women will occasionally pause in contemplation. 

“We’ll text and I’ll just be like, ‘This is our life now,’” Johnson said. 

They find strength to handle their new calling through each other, but both of them credit a higher power with holding it all together. 

The death of a child would test the faith of anyone, but Johnson and Miller say they have never questioned the existence and love of God. 

In fact, they credit him as the guiding hand working everyday miracles through Raise for Rowyn. 

“I was angry at the situation, not God,” Johnson said. “My daughter is in heaven with him now.”

Likewise, Miller never allowed her sorrow to damage her faith, even when she begged for answers from above while battling the weight of the tragedy and its constant effects on her psyche.

As she sees it, she had no other choice. 

“That was really the only place I had to look for help,” she said. 

The Road Ahead

Johnson and Miller recently published a book titled “Life of an Angel” with the help of Olympia author Shey Stahl. 

In it, they write alternating chapters that describe their lives leading up to, and following, the death of Rowyn. 

Miller hasn't read the whole book yet.

She’s not completely ready to hear Johnson’s full take on the situation, her descriptions of the death and the feelings it created. 

It’s all still too new.

“It talks a lot about our grieving process for both of us … It’s very personal, very raw,” Johnson said. 

Despite the pervasive grief, both women are looking to the future and have lofty goals for growth. 

Johnson wants to continue expanding the nonprofit’s mission and impact. Currently, the board pays out $6,000 a month to mourning families throughout the country. Her vision is for the sum to increase substantially over time. 

She sees it eventually reaching the size of the Susan G. Komen foundation, the largest breast cancer nonprofit in the world. 

“I really feel like it will grow to that level,” she said. 

The gears are already in motion as the organization plans for another year filled with events, merchandise sales and fundraisers to generate revenue that will then be dispersed out to others facing loss. 

Eventually, Johnson and Miller would like Raise for Rowyn to become their full-time job so they can guide the growth in a more organized and consistent manner. 

The organization helped its first family in April. It was the daughter of a friend of one of the police officers who responded to the accident that claimed Rowyn in September 2014. 

Shortly thereafter, they assisted a father in Winlock who lost his wife and two children in a deadly fire. Then there was the Marysville-Pilchuck school shooting, which took the lives of four teenagers in addition to the shooter. 

Since then, the requests for assistance have poured in. Sometimes it’s one in a month. Other times, it’s six in a day.

Johnson and Miller want to raise more money, help more people. They’ll continue to do so even as they battle occasional bouts with emotions sparked by reminders such as Christmas.

There will be more collapses, more tearful prayers expressed desperately at the grave of the sweet, blond-haired girl who left behind parents dedicated to bettering the lives of those suffering the same unimaginable sorrow. 

It’s for Rowyn. 

It’s for themselves. 

It’s for anyone coping with the pain they still feel. 

“I want everyone to always remember how she was,” Johnson said, later adding, “I want her to be proud of her mommy.”

The life of Rowyn now cannot be fully recalled without considering all the good that has followed her death.  

“Rowyn has changed so many lives and brought so many people to God,” Miller said. 

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Eric Schwartz is the editor of The Chronicle. He can be reached at eschwartz@chronline.com or (360) 807-8224.