Among residents of this corner of the country, one person’s Northwesterner is another’s foreigner. That seems to be the upshot of a poll commissioned by Seattle-based insurer PEMCO and recently publicized in the Yakima Herald-Republic and other outlets. It was an actual scientific-type poll that questioned 1,200 residents of Washington and Oregon — no doubt with some official margin of error. The exact question: “How long does a person need to live in the Pacific Northwest to be considered local to the Pacific Northwest?”
An astounding 20 percent of Washington residents said you had to be born here and lived here your whole life. Oregon respondents were even more intense — or, arguably, insular; a full 25 percent of Beaver Staters said you had to be born here. That is no margin of error. The trend was similar among those who said three-quarters of your life: 18 percent of Washingtonians and 19 percent of Oregonians gave that answer.
Both are states that have doubled their populations in less than 50 years, and most of that surge stems from people moving here. So those answers eliminate a lot of folks who are your friends and neighbors —perhaps (gasp) yourself. We also will argue that Northwesternism — we perhaps have coined a word here — cannot by codified by the size of the fraction of one’s lifespan.
So, with all due humility and dismissal of scientific polling methods, we present a different way of measuring Northwesternism — with a focus on Central Washington. It’s essentially a knowledge test, not a sum total of years accumulated in one locale. For some of these, we’ll give you some margin or error, or “close enough.” For others, there is no doubting your Central Washington/Northwesternism; you are a “confirmed” resident of the region.
Give it a gander:
Close enough: You know that the downtown Yakima’s Capitol Theatre arose from the ashes of a fire. Confirmed: You know about, remember or were there when iconic comedian Bob Hope reopened the Capitol in 1978.
Close enough: You know that Mount St. Helens’ 1980 eruption smothered the valley with ash. Confirmed: You stocked up on face masks, slipped pantyhose over your vehicle’s carburetor and recall that most of Chesterley Park lies atop what the volcano sent our way.
Close enough: You know that Central Washington University used to be Central Washington State College. Confirmed: You actually attended Central Washington State College. Bonus: You attended Washington State Normal School in Ellensburg.
Close enough: You know that Yakima Valley College, aka YVC, used to be called YVCC. Confirmed: You know that the school was called YVC before it was YVCC and then YVC again. Bonus: You attended Yakima Valley Junior College.
Close enough: You remember when Democrats would win elections in Yakima County and Republicans would win major offices statewide. Confirmed: You voted for Sen. Scoop Jackson even though you prefer Republicans, or you voted for Gov. Dan Evans even though you like Democrats.
Close enough: You recognize the name Dave Edler as a prominent member of the community. Confirmed: You hear his name and think “baseball” before “mayor” or “minister.”
Close enough: You know that Davis High School used to be Yakima High School. Confirmed: You can tell us who A.C. Davis is.
Close enough: You used to do all your shopping in downtown Yakima, or know that people used to do their shopping downtown. Confirmed: You shopped downtown before there was a mall.
Close enough: You have driven through the Yakima River Canyon as a leisurely alternative route to Ellensburg or Seattle. Confirmed: You have rafted, fished, hiked, bicycled, stopped to view wildlife or run a marathon in the canyon.
Close enough: You have witnessed the growth of the wine industry in the Yakima Valley. Confirmed: You recall when the grapes were more Concord than Cabernet.
Close enough: You savor how the craft beer boom has rejuvenated demand for local hops. Confirmed: You recall the original TV ad with a motorcycle sounding out “R-a-a-i-i-n-i-e-e-r B-e-e-e-e-r-r-r ...”
Close enough: You carry chains when traveling over the passes in winter. Confirmed: You can put chains on all tires in five minutes flat. Bonus: You sit on the pass and charge westsiders $20 to put their chains on.
Close enough: You know that the University of Washington and Washington State University have a spirited football rivalry. Confirmed: You know where you were during the “Snow Bowl” of 1992 (glorious WSU win) or the Cougar Meltdown of 1975 (don’t get WSU folks going about that one).
Close enough: You know that the Seattle Seahawks were an expansion team in the 1970s. Confirmed: You remember Zorn-to-Largent, the Boz fiasco and the team’s near-hijacking to California.
Close enough: You know that the Seattle Mariners were an expansion team in the 1970s. Confirmed: You remember 1995’s Refuse to Lose, that they haven’t done much since those 116 wins in 2001, and the team’s near-hijacking to any number of cities. Bonus: You remember the hijacking of the Mariners’ antecedent — the Pilots -— to Milwaukee.
Close enough: You know that there used to be an NBA team in Seattle, and that it won a championship in 1979. Confirmed: Your head explodes at the mere mention of “Oklahoma City” or “Thunder.” Talk about a hijack.
You get the idea. We have no intention of fomenting further division in this politically and culturally fractured time, We’ll simply argue that if you know a good thing when you see it -- and therefore, live here when you could live elsewhere — then you are a Northwesterner. Go out and enjoy the many amenities of life in the Northwest.
Oh, and go Sonics.
