Whenever the miscellaneous drawer of my file cabinet gets too cramped to hold anything else, it’s time to write another column. I recently received a catalog offering a T-shirt that parodies the closing line from an old Christmas movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It says, “Whenever a Christian defends Trump an angel loses his lunch?” Maybe by the time the elections roll around, he’ll have declared himself King and spare us the effort of voting?
Here, then, on a less controversial scale, is the latest collection of trivia.
In most supermarkets, the top shelf in the crackers and chips section usually has some small glasses of two different types of spreadable cheese: Pimento and English Style. I usually buy three or four glasses per year of the former. But when they become empty, I can’t seem to bring myself to throw the glasses away. I already have 15!
Maybe it’s because they seem to take me back to my aunt’s breakfast nook — some time around the middle 30s. She would serve orange juice in those glasses. The glass itself was different — it was considerably thinner then and each had a simple floral design on it that was actually painted by hand and not just stamped on in a production line. It’s been many years since I saw one of those glasses, though. For some reason the older version disappeared from shelves around the first part of December, back in 1941. Coincidence?
Last week was a busy one for those who think anyone who might have 65 or 70 candles on their birthday cake is a great target for scams. Within a 48 hour period, I deleted no less than five emails from people who must think I would be fair game simply because of my nonagenarian status. Here’s a brief description of them which, hopefully, will serve as a warning for anyone else who might receive them. People who send this kind of email to oldsters must think we’re old enough to be considered senile simply because we can remember having had to mix oleomargarine in a bag with a yellow tablet inside before spreading it on a sandwich.
The most believable of them appeared to be from Xfinity saying “Important information about your account.” It really looked like an official message from them but, since it was mailed from someone named Dona Grayson, I didn’t feel comfortable clicking on the spot where I might receive more information.
Another suspicious request from jim2430b@comcast asked me to “Upgrade now.” I did not. Later I was saddened when I learned that my banking account with Huntingtononline banking was locked. That one was from email@example.com.
A notice asking me to “verify your email address” — also supposedly from Xfinity was mailed from firstname.lastname@example.org. Then there was a message from Windows Defender Team that warned “We have charged you $299 for the 12 months of subscription from your account.” Finally, Docusigns let me know that “You have received a document to review & sign.” That was from Uhrotto, whoever he — or she — is.
Would this be a good time to insert my feelings about the large Uncle Sam billboard on northbound I-5? I dislike it! Its’ predecessor was closer to Centralia on the other side of the freeway and most of us long-term residents will remember when there was a major challenge to it with petitions and legalities as well. However, it was determined that the owner’s right to display messages and/or advertisements on their own property was protected. Those original signs on the old Hamilton Turkey farm were clever and made the statements with less anger and vitriol than this newer version. I was once told that Dan Agnew was the author of most of them. I don’t remember ever agreeing with them (well, maybe just a few times) but at least I didn’t want to throw up when I read them.
Bill Moeller is a former entertainer, mayor, bookstore owner, city council member, paratrooper and pilot living in Centralia. He can be reached at email@example.com.