... It's Monday afternoon!
I’m at a Chamber of Commerce banquet luncheon right now, sitting at the “press table” with Buddy Rose (DeVaul Publishing) and a somewhat wary Commissioner Lee Grose. Buddy told me he has a week and a half to write his story, whereas I have just an hour. Touche’, Buddy.
It’s been a running joke in the Newsroom that there are two people you can always count on seeing at a public meeting: Commissioner Ron Averill and Lewis County Literacy Council Executive Director Keith Blackwell.
Not surprisingly, Averill walked in about five steps before me and Keith Blackwell just won the first drawing of the day.
Averill just joked to him that “You can’t leave your card anymore, Keith.”
Other notables: Commission hopeful Lyle Hojem, in his trademark hickory shirt, work jeans and suspenders (possibly having just finished tough talking someone); Senate hopeful Ted Shannon, looking sporty in a polo and tennis shoes (as I typed this, Shannon just won a gift certificate to Starbucks); and a table of school superintendents (Centralia, Onalaska, Winlock and Toledo were represented). Today’s forum is on county impact fees, hence the school chiefs’ interest.
So far I’ve learned that A) there’s spots open in some kind of golf tournament, and B) YOU MUST BE PRESENT TO WIN.
Someone just won something in yet another drawing. Commissioner Grose, under his breath, grumbled “You gotta be here,” about two seconds before Chamber Executive Director Vernadel Peterson announced that the winner, Spencer Pruitt, wouldn’t get his prize because “You have to be here.” Good call, Commish.
“We can’t hear back here!” someone yelled to get Vernadel to speak up. Tough crowd.
Earlier, I overheard local community-service guru Harlan Thompson being introduced to someone: “I’m — old,” he said, with his Harlan smile.
Marnie Allen, one of the guest speakers, just started talking. Seconds later, Lee Grose leaned over, said nothing, and stole the free “Coffee News” pen I’d picked up on my way in. No, “Hey I’m gonna borrow this,” just a cold-hearted grab. You’d think he ran the county. Damn it. Looks like he’s filling out a registration sheet for the Visiting Nurses Golf Tournament.
I suppose I should take notes now. Good thing I’ve got a laptop or I’d be up the creek, what with Thievin’ Lee sitting next to me.
Newsflash! Lee returned my pen, adding a “Thanks.” Today’s lesson from Packwood: better to thank the victim than ask permission.
Newsflash! I think I’ve seen Marnie give this speech three times now. I could almost give it myself, if I weren’t protecting my sunglasses from Commissioner Grose.
Ron Averill has a question. He’s almost reached the Paris Hilton “Known For Being Known” level of local fame, only he's known for being active as a commissioner.
“I assure you that it’s correct,” he said, regarding something on the narrow shoulder between on- and off-topic. This is not Commissioner Averill’s first rodeo.
Lee Grose just moved the chair next to me and knocked over my laptop bag and bottle of Coke Zero. He looked down nonchalantly and said he was sorry. I believe him.
Marnie started listing off schools that have facilities plans.
“Napavine HAS an impact fee,” Averill said.
Some lady is angry about a SEPA that didn’t get asked for in Napavine, and taking it out on poor Marnie. I don’t think she knows Marnie isn’t in charge of every piece of school financing in the Northwest.
“They blew it on the SEPA!” said the aforementioned audience member.
Where’s Nick Bozarth at? Shouldn’t he be here to field questions like this with a boyish smile and an “Aw, shucks, I’ma sorry.”
Averill interjects again on something the county does.
I was almost able to log into Centralia’s wireless network while sitting at this meeting. The password? Centralia. Real original, guys. I sure hope that wasn’t you, Harlan. Or you, Ted Shannon. Or you, Realtor Dan Keahey (sitting by Shannon).
Lee Grose just put himself in timeout, with his head between his hands looking at the floor. Either that or my incessant typing is giving him a headache. Wait, someone just stopped talking, and now everyone’s clapping. Time for the Q and A session and then over-and-out.
Someone, sitting with Ted Shannon, just asked a VERY specific question. Again, Marnie doesn’t have every district’s figures for the rest of the decade memorized. It’s just not possible, and asking her very pointedly isn’t going to help.
Dale McDaniel (Onalaska superintendent) is talking about the five districts that will be impacted by the Fox Run development (at least that’s what the implication is. He hasn’t actually said “Fox Run”). He’s referring to them as the five districts, which sounds hilariously like Kevin on NBC’s The Office talking about the “Five Families” in the Scranton Business Park.
Oops, meeting over. I hope you’ve learned as much as I have from this recap. I told Grose to toss my name on his golf roster. He’s already got a foursome but told me to show up in case one of them doesn’t.
Rock ‘n’ roll.
