Today, starting at 11:36, Adna golfer Cody “French Kid” Tosland began a most unenviable endeavour: Trying to stay sane through an entire 18 holes at the 2008 WIAA/Dairy Farmers of Washington/Les Schwab Tires 1B/2B State Golf Championships.
It’s something I tried seven years ago, when I mailed in a performance at the 1A state contest, held at some golf course up north. The Chronicle, of course, documented the event.
Sports Editor Sam Bakotich wrote something very close to this: “Pirate golfer Aaron VanTuyl shot a 107, failed to make the cut, placed dead last overall and is a generally despicable person who will likely end up digging ditches for a living. Reports have also said he does not regularly brush his teeth, putts like a drunk toddler and is responsible for at least two-thirds of the crime in Adna.”
That was the culmination of my illustrious senior golf season, during which I:
- Shot the round of my life at districts, an 87 on the Highlands Golf Course in Cosmopolis;
- Set what may have been a school record 41 on the front nine at Highlands;
- Went into districts as the No. 5 golfer on my team, and finished second overall;
- Played near-par golf for the first six holes at the state tournament, until a series of unfortunate events derailed my train of concentration (which, on the golf course, was already close to non-existent).
Here’s what happened: someone clapped in my backswing, I hit my lucky ball out of bounds and mentally threw in the towel. That was on hole No. 7 of the 18-hole first round.
After that I managed to hit six consecutive shots out of bounds on one hole and found myself strangely out of place with the three “real” golfers in my foursome.
Here’s an example of me being the fish out of water:
Golf Pro Kid: “Hey. Check out my four-iron. It felt a little off, so I heated it and bent it back to a true 14 (degree of angle). I work in a pro shop.”
Aaron: “I broke my four-iron six months ago, and I’m down to just a wedge, nine-, seven- and three-iron.”
My scorekeeper then scowled and, for the most part, ignored me for the rest of the day.
At the turn, I told one of the other golfers in the group that I felt I could really finish in dead last if I put my mind to it.
“I bet you could,” he said, with no hint of a smile. It was that kind of day.
My mom and dad, watching me play for the first time in four years, followed us around the course with a few other parents. At one point, while Golf Pro Kid was at the tee, the Old Man’s phone rang.
“No, it’s no big deal,” he told the caller, drawing angry glances from the rest of the crowd. “No, I’m at the state golf tournament!”
When I finally wrapped up what would be my last round of golf for about three years, I realized I hadn’t stopped by the scorer’s table to get my commemorative “WIAA CHAMPIONSHIPS” golf ball. I approached the table, only to overhear the scorekeeper’s remark: “Wow, would you look at that? Some kid shot a 107!”
That “kid” took his souvenir ball, got in his parents’ minivan and called it a career.
Richard Woo, from King’s High School, took first in the tournament with a 2-over 146. Golf Pro Kid finished a few strokes back, but in the top five. My two-day score, had I kept up the my first-round caliber of play, would have been a 214.
Now, that’s the kind of Adna tradition I’m hoping young Mr. Tosland can live up to at Lake Padden Golf Course in Bellingham.
I don’t know the French Kid all that well, but I called up one of his fellow Pirate golfers, known throughout the 2B golf scene as the Archuleta, to get the scoop on Adna’s contender.
The Archuleta couldn’t, however, think of any great strengths in Tosland’s game.
“I can tell you what his weakest part is,” he offered. “Driving, ‘cuz he doesn’t do it. He only uses his irons and his five-wood.”
I asked how Adna’s lone representative at the Big (Swing) Dance would do.
“He’s gonna do okay,” said the Archuleta who, for some reason, was just waking up when I called at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning. “He won’t do good, by any means, but he’ll finish in the middle of the pack. He only missed the cut (for state) by a couple of strokes last year.”
What are the chances of Tosland finishing in the top five of the 40-man field? Less than 10 percent, according to his fellow swinger.
“Hey man, he finished ninth in districts. That means there’s eight other people in our district that’re better than him, so there’s another 15 or 20 in the state that are better than him,” the Archuleta said. “Look at the odds.”
I wish young French Kid the best of luck. Even if he doesn’t make the cut, I hope he comes back with a couple of good stories to tell.
And, even if he finishes dead last, I’ll tell Sam to go easy on him.
