Stick to the Pool

It must be something in their genes: Great swimmers are horrible comics.

I was really looking forward to the season premier episode of Saturday Night Live this past Saturday to see how Michael Phelps would do in his first stab at live comedy ... granted, something that would be very difficult for anyone to do.

But Phelps, winner of eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics, was not just bad; he was way beyond horrible.

The poor guy had no timing, no stage presence and, something entirely beyond his control, he had terrible material provided to him by the SNL writers, who really do run hot and cold in their comedy.

For those old enough to remember, it brought to mind a similarly awful comedy debut by Phelps’s swimming predecessor, Mark Spitz. After Spitz won his seven golds in Munich in 1972, he made an appearance on a Bob Hope special and was an awkward embarrassment. Despite his amazing athletic feats, television was definitely not for him and he basically disappeared.

All I can say to Phelps is cash in now on what you can, baby, because any future you may have is in the water, or maybe in business, but certainly not on the screen.

Actually, the only good part of SNL that night was the opening scene where Tina Fey portrayed John McCain’s VP running mate Sarah Palin. She could pass as a Palin twin and the bit she did with Amy Poehler, playing Hillary Clinton, was hilarious.

You don’t hear an old Cougar say this very often, but I really did feel sorry for the Huskies last Saturday.

Surely, you all know by now what I’m talking about — the unsportsmanlike call on Husky QB Jake Locker after he scored a touchdown late against BYU and then jumped up and tossed the ball straight overhead. After the ensuing 15-yard penalty, the PAT kick was blocked and the beleaguered Huskies lost by a point. Former Dallas Cowboys and University of Miami coach Jimmy Johnson put it best on the FOX NFL pregame show Sunday morning when the topic came up. “There are good officials and there are bad officials, and the guy that made that call is an absolute idiot!” he fumed.

I’ve spoken with about a half-dozen local high school officials since that happened, since the preps have the same rule, and every single one said it was a classic no-call. Locker wasn’t hot-dogging, and the officials in that game (seven in college) didn’t have to stop the game and chase the ball down. And it absolutely wasn’t unsportsmanlike. It may technically be a rule, but like most laws, it’s relative and should be judged in the context it happened.

And the rule in general is ludicrous. One of the things I like best about sports is the emotion. And good, clean emotion is what makes the game, any game, great.

The rule should be changed and that official should remember what the game is all about, or get out of the game.

Well, I guess it was a weekend to feel sorry for the state’s major football teams.
The Cougars looked so bad against Cal, I had to stop watching after it was 49-3 (it wound up a 66-3 Cal win). And the Seahawks were pathetic in a 34-10 loss to Buffalo. Their line play, supposedly a strength, was awful, and Matt Hasselbeck rarely had time to make anything happen. The depleted receiving corps was also dismal, dropping pass after pass, and the running game stunk. Maybe Shaun Alexander wasn’t as bad as we thought. Now, it looks like the line is the culprit. Who knows? It may be a long fall and winter for the state’s football fans.

We’re back

After the lazy, hazy crazy days of summer, it’s time to jump back into things. There are a few changes in The Chronicle Sports Department and I like them.

First, we have the new addition online with Alex Alderson’s “From the Sidelines” show, which will be available on our Web site every Friday morning simply by going to chronline.com/prepsports. Also, Alderson, owner of Northwest Sports Radio, and color man Mark Westley, will broadcast 15 high school games this fall, starting Friday night with the Old Helmet Game between Mossyrock and Onalaska.

Our goal with these broadcasts is to focus on rivalries, games with playoffs on the line, or simply just games that should feature a good matchup. Alderson’s show, since it will air Friday morning, will not just focus on what’s coming up on the weekend, he’ll also chat with area coaches, whose teams are in the hunt, or with certain players who are coming off special performances.

And who knows? It may even feature more than that. It’s our first venture into this medium and we’re making plans on the fly. Keep in mind: Sports are meant to be fun and games, and that’s what our focus will be on.

Also, please welcome Aaron VanTuyl to the sports department. He takes over for Caleb Breakey, who was with us just a short time before returning to the Bellingham area to be closer to family. VanTuyl will not only be covering games and writing features, you can look for his special brand of humor as be begins a local sports blog.