Did You Know? Part One: I Am A Rock Legend

As many youngins do in their youth I participated in the school's band program in Elementary School. It was there I discovered my affinity for long tubes of wood and moving air through them to create sounds -- some called it "music"; I think they were just being sympathetic as they said it through gritted teeth. Unlike most, however, I continued with the program into my high school years.

Protip: Continuing with musical education into high school turns you into a band geek.* Beatings thusly commence by those with inferior musical talent.

It was in high school that I learned that I could not only play three or four different types of saxophones and clarinets, I was able to give my vocal chords a rest by playing the bass guitar. Oh yes -- there I was, Rick Pierce of age 16 -- wielding a bass like some sort of Dwarven Axe (notice the use of fantasy elements to complete the nerd metaphor) whilst rocking out with my peers in a garage. I felt at that time that I was the greatest asset to ever grace the pages of the history of Rock & Roll.

But alas, it wasn't to last. The band eventually disbanded in my senior year after only a handful of shows and I moved onto worrying about girlfriends and college attendance (or lack thereof).

Fast forward to September of this last year. A game, a video game, was released called "Guitar Hero III: The Legends of Rock." I picked it up, having only played Guitar Hero II a few times, and discovered a beautiful thing: I could rock out. I rocked out with my wife. I rocked out with my daughter. I rocked out with my parents. I rocked out with my socks out (I rocked my socks?). And suddenly, as I moved up from easy mode to medium, I started to get better at rocking out. With each song notched under my belt with a series of stars, I soon moved up to hard (which was hard). But I got better. I rocked out more. Can I put the words "rock out" in this paragraph any more times? I just did.

Two weeks ago I decided I was enough of a "guitar hero" to warrant a recording, which I then placed on YouTube to the delight of my fans, a throng thousands strong.



Not my best work, but as described in the video itself I had a small dog distracting me at every measure. I have excuses, which validate the poor performance.

At a recent church gathering for our young men (of which I help with) on the Wednesday before that video was filmed, Guitar Hero III was brought in as an activity. I had not expressed anything other than a passing interest to the teens during class on Sunday that I enjoyed the game. The console was brought out, hooked up, and turned on. Feigning knowledge when it was my turn ("Oh, you push down to make it play noise? I think I'll just start out on Hard and see how far I get.") I proceeded to melt the faces of the teenagers around me with some finger-numbing shreds. I would later go on to describe the experience as "glorious."

Jon came over to my apartment last night, after many day changes (we originally scheduled for two previous Fridays ago). With him he brought the game Rock Band, a game that is similar to Guitar Hero except that it includes a number of customizable features of your character and allows you to play not only the guitar, but a bass, drums, and a microphone to sing into ala karaoke. The microphone was the only instrument unused last night, as none of us thought we were decent enough to carry a tune with others around.

Knowing that neither Jon or Lynette, my wife, wanted to play the drums, I did the gentlemanly thing and offered to play them. To my surprise I had a good time, even though previous attempts to play the drums in the past resulted in people telling me to "stop that noise!" But in Rock Band, I must have found my groove because I was simply awesome. There are no other words to describe my performance. Jon and Lynette did alright.

Our first decision was a name for the band. After a few minutes we concluded that "Delicious Agony" was the coolest name we had ever heard of. It was meant to be. We then each created a character. Mine was "Kevin," a sheepish teen with enough pitch-black hair to cover his face almost completely. After a few shows we had earned enough money that the band let me go buy a new sweatshirt, some jeans, and boots. I also ordered some black eye-liner to complete the look. Any emokid would have been proud. Or sad. Or whatever it is they feel/don't feel. (I have no idea how it works.)

Our fans increased, we earned more money, and soon we were moving from Seattle to the Bay Area and then the City of Angels. We eventually made stops in New York and Boston. My drum solos only got better and that in turn bolstered my confidence. Soon I was clacking my sticks together to set the beat for the band before a song would begin. At the end of a performance I would throw my sticks into the air with a flourish.

And with that singularly defining act, it was secured:

I am a rock legend.

* I swear Wikipedia actually has a band geek page. How sad.

Editor's Note: Needs more cowbell!

What's The Buzz? I Got You King 5!

I was shocked today when Michael came up to me and told me that Patti Prouty, the Patti Prouty, had registered to the Lewis County Buzz. I remember coming up with a list of individuals I'd hope to eventually see on the Buzz when we began it. Patti was definitely one of those on the list along with King Chuck (who is also a registered member). I'm still holding out for Jim Hamilton.

Admittedly I didn't know who any of these people were before I moved down here. Possibly I should have paid more attention; as it was, my attention was focused primarily on what I was going to eat that night. I suppose in a way it still is. Either way, the idea of creating a forum that existed for the newspaper and outside of its entity at the same time was one of the first things I lobbied for as soon as I came on. I have been happily rewarded with a fun and thriving community to watch over, not as a Chronicle employee, but as another member of the thousands of discussions that are occurring.

There have been tirades and hissy-fits, for sure: It's just to be expected on a forum. I would be surprised if there aren't others in the future. We recently lost our top-posting member because of a disagreement over a vulgar post. These things happen. Whereas those might seem like more pressing matters of a forum, I think the community is better evaluated on the many levels its helped unify our county virtually.

We got to learn about our county's past from older members of the community. The Peterson vs. Lawler campaign was opened up for everyone to see. When the flood hit, our community worked together enabling hundreds the ability to post where help was needed, how to provide it, and the current situation when all other options seemed lost. And that's all within three months since the forum began. Nine months from now, in September, I may look back on the entire year the Buzz has been through and be able to name off many more "accomplishments" of the community I'm proud of. A week ago we passed the 1,000 registered member's mark.

And one of them is Dennis Bounds.

Dennis Bounds: Not A Stalker

He called me last week, but I was out of the office and he was forced to leave a message. He must have begun talking before the beep sounded because he was in mid-sentence when I played it back. I believe it had something to do with my expressed opinion and something about "polls." I can't honestly be sure. He didn't leave a number to return his call. Note to Dennis: Wait for the beep and leave your number. Yes, I'd be happy to come on your news program and give my opinion on your "polls." No, I will not press one at the tone.

Since that time I've noticed several stories on King 5 after returning home from work that appeared to have been pilfered from the Buzz. The last straw came last night, hours after having closed and deleted a thread about a Centralia High School student who reportedly attended a dance intoxicated on Tilt. The article as it appeared on King 5? That's right: The dangers of teenagers getting drunk on alcoholic energy drinks!

The story was then immediately followed up by a cat being rescued from a tree.

Am I calling Dennis Bounds a stalker? No, mostly because I believe that's a form of libel and I think I can get in trouble for that. But Dennis, let me just say this: I'm on to you.

Another MacBook? Oh, And Welcome!

Steve Jobs announced today in his keynote speech the newest notebook to grace Apple's MacBook line-up: The MacBook Air, this time with thin font.

The MacBook Air: Hover-System not included

You can view the features video provided by Apple by clicking here.

The computer, which weighs less than three pounds, is sure to at least get looks if not jaw-dropping stares. It features a full-sized keyboard and a 13" LCD screen. They even managed to fit back-lighting for the keys in there somehow. What they forgot, and this is important to me, is to include more than one USB port.

That's right, it only has one.

Now, before I start to suggest that owners purchase one for the sole-purpose of gathering them in a large pile for burning (to "rid the world of such evils") I have to mention that some great new features have been added that aren't simply cosmetic. The touchpad has been given an upgrade with new finger commands that can be used, including a pull/pinch and rotate feature for content displayed on the screen.

The most interesting hardware upgrade is the ability to wirelessly connect with other PCs and Macs in your home or office and transfer data or even install programs wirelessly. That, my friends, is the future. The future is finally here*. Now when I get one of these (Jon, I'm looking at you) I'll be all set to transfer all the contents of my current MacBook Pro to the Air and feel right at ease with my customized settings and all my documents. Say goodbye to backing up data or purchasing those transferring programs to move files.

In addition, I also wanted to thank you for visiting my new blog. I'm anxious to get into the blogging sphere here at the Chronicle, able to share another point of view to those of the newsroom who have their blogs already up and are posting. The atmosphere around the office has been quite excited since the blog page launched last week. I enjoyed reading the new posts my coworkers wrote.

On something of a personal introduction I should mention that I recently moved from Puyallup and now currently reside in Olympia. I immediately fell in love with Lewis County, however, and feel quite an attachment to Centralia already. Being a newbie here, I'm still getting to know the local celebrities and events (just learned who John Panesko is). Working for a newspaper, and updating its website each day, certainly makes this task much easier. In addition to updating websites, I enjoy playing games, watching movies, and (possibly my least nerdy hobby) working on cars.

*Flying cars on back order until 2030. The Future apologizes for this inconvenience.