The First Day Of Class

Two pieces of cardboard, a stack of construction paper and ten minutes to build a five-foot tower. That was the task assigned to me and my classmates during the first day of Community Emergency Response Team training at the Riverside Fire Authority on Wednesday.
Centralia Police Department Sergeant Jim Shannon separated the class of 30 into groups of five, and we were off and running. Actually, it was more like off and stumbling. Matt, one of my teammates, reassured our group at the start of the project with the comforting words “That’s what I do, construction.” Unfortunately, we were unable to harness Matt’s skills to build a sturdy tower. We did manage to create a wavering, slanted, three-foot monstrosity — one that collapsed just as Shannon was explaining the point of the project. In all fairness to my team members, I was about as helpful as an underwater smoke detector. Still, the message of the activity rang true — planning for a project creates better results than making decisions on the fly.
This lesson appears to have been validated by the success of first responders during the early December floods. Despite the fact that a third of the city was under water, no lives were lost and there were no major injuries. Shannon told the class of attempting to rescue a 600-pound man who was relegated to his chair while water reached the depth of his chest. Police officers used batons to shut off electricity not knowing whether or not they would be electrocuted, he said. Those are the kinds of situations that can’t be planned for.
However, much of the success of the first responders was attributed to planning and experience garnered from past disasters in Lewis County. The Emergency Operation Centers opened without a hitch for the most part, and volunteers arrived in droves to assist police and fire department personnel. This is, in essence, the reason why the CPD and the Riverside Fire Authority are hosting the CERT training. By educating citizens, they are preparing people to be more self-sufficient when disaster inevitably strikes.
I plan to attend each of the seven, three-hour classes and pass the information I learn along to you. In the weeks ahead, we’ll be putting out fires, learning about terrorism and gaining important knowledge about how to react to a disaster.
Hopefully that reaction doesn’t include building a five foot tower out of cardboard and construction paper.

PERSONAL: I moved into a Centralia rental home about a month ago, and planned on being the sole resident. Unfortunately, the local arachnid population had other plans. A couple nights ago, the latest eight-legged, non-paying tenant scurried out into my living room while I was quietly watching the terrorist-fighting antics of Jack Bauer on the FOX television show ‘24.’ I’d like to say I reacted as bravely as Bauer would have, but unless you consider climbing onto the couch in a panic courageous, it would probably be a lie. In my defense, this was no normal spider. This guy was the size of a small rodent, and looked capable of breathing fire and bringing down large prey. Needless to say, I eventually vanquished the intruder, and now live in a state of fear and unrest at the thought of possible retribution from its kin. Does anybody have any helpful tips for repelling the eight-legged menace through non-fatal means? If so, I would be greatly appreciative. If not, maybe someone can offer advice on how I can get them to pay rent.

A Day With The Congressman

U.S. Rep. Brian Baird is a smart man.

I witnessed this while traveling with the Vancouver Democrat last Friday as he toured prospective levee sites with Army Corps of Engineers representatives and state and local government officials. Now, normally I would not make such an apparently opinionated assessment, but the fact that Baird holds a doctorate in clinical psychology seems to confirm this as fact.

What I can attest to personally is that Baird also has a solid sense of humor. From George W. Bush impersonations, to jovial threats to throw an Army Corps spokesman into the Skookumchuck River, the congressman exhibited his apparent ability to crack jokes.

After the tour, the group headed to the Lewis County Law and Justice Center where they held a roundtable discussion concerning the levees. Those on hand included state Rep. Gary Alexander, R- Olympia, Lewis County Commission chairman Ron Averill, Centralia Mayor Tim Browning, Chehalis Mayor Tim Browning, Chronicle Publisher Dennis Waller and Army Corps of Engineers Seattle District Commander Colonel Mike McCormick.

At one point, the discussion turned to the question of whether or not Baird would be able to obtain federal funding for the project when he returned to Congress. In the midst of the serious discussion, Baird joked that he knew how he could assure that funding was secured.

He hunched his shoulders, and altered his voice into a southern drawl, summoning an impersonation of President George W. Bush.

“If you have Al Qaeda there, I’ll be there in a second,” Baird joked, holding up his hands and shooting a quick smile around the table.

Though his audience consisted of mostly Republicans, the congressman elicited at least a chuckle from just about everyone in the room.

Bush was the butt of Baird’s joke in this case, but the congressman has been on the receiving end of some wisecracks himself. Baird appeared on Comedy Central’s hit show The Colbert Report last year, and was lampooned by host Stephen Colbert during the segment “Better Know a District.” Check out the video here.





The Colbert Report has also posted an entry for Baird on a satirical version of Wikipedia which is called Wikiality — The truthiness encyclopedia. The entry states that Baird “supports meth, killing sea lions, leaving children behind, and Iraqis taking over our beloved America.” You can visit the page here.