Most “shocking” claims these days are the exact opposite, but news that an Oregon man raced up Mount St. Helens on a kite-powered snowboard really made my jaw drop.
It’s been many years since I climbed the south side of the volcano the old-fashioned way, one foot in front of the other. It took me the better part of a day to climb Mount St. Helens’ 3,200 vertical feet.
Aaron Sales, 42, did it in just 35 minutes, thanks to winds of up to 40 mph at the summit.
Which brought to mind my only objection to this remarkable feat — how the heck do you stop that thing?
It’s not an academic question. Since 1980, the summit of Mount St. Helens has been a sudden, dizzying drop. You literally stand a few feet from the potentially life-ending edge when you’re on the summit. I still get queasy thinking about it.
So let’s get back to Mr. Sales, who had clearly thought hard about this issue. The Seattle Times reports:
“At the top, Sales planned to use a quick-release system to drop the kite just before the crater rim. But with the high winds, he instead steered the kite toward a member of his support team, who grabbed it and secured it.”
Well.
That’s quick thinking at 40 mph — and a very dedicated member of the support team.
If it were me, once I had my buddy safely disconnected, I would have just let that kite sail on into the sunset.
But Sales apparently wasn’t worried about his fast approach to a steep drop.
Once free of his windbound rigging, he took 50 steps up the crater and was blown away by the sight — and his view of mounts Rainier, Adams and Hood.
“Those are the next steps,” he said.
Indeed.
Sail on, Mr. Sales.
The Plummer Lake Monster
Klaus and Marianne Wallis, of Centralia, emailed me with a “news” item that I missed in my April Fool’s Day column.
With a tip o’ the cap to these fine folks, I am pleased to present their report of a highly unusual sight in Loch Ness — oops, I mean Plummer Lake:
A respected local publication targeted to seniors recently reported sighting of highly unusual imprints into the muddy shoreline of Plummer Lake.
The Centralia College Department of Anthropology was asked to investigate with the following probable and possible results: It seems that Ogopogo or Naitaka (Salish: n’ha-a-itk – Lake Demon) which normally resides in Okanagan Lake, British Columbia, used the lake as overnight accommodation while enroute to a family gathering at Crater Lake, Oregon.
This happened in the dark of night.
The travel-weary creature apparently was hungry as well, because all resident fish and waterfowl have disappeared. The Washington Department of Natural Resources, upon inquiry, was at a loss for a coherent explanation.
The Plummer Lake Female Owners Association has not answered any questions as to conversion of the lake to motel property, but its members were observed sporting a gold maple leaf lapel pin on their outer garments.
It is not known whether Ogopogo is still at Crater Lake, whether it has returned to its residence in Canada via a different route, or whether it has hitched a ride on the express bus from Portland to Seattle and then slithered across the International Border near Lynden or Sumas to its domicile near Kelowna.
The B.C. Department of Specialized Natural Phenomena has been notified. They will keep the entire occurrence under wraps in order to prevent an international incident during the present climate of questionable bumpy international relations.
Ready to Mark
Two Hundred Years
The monthly meeting of the George Washington fan club and bicentennial committee will be this Monday, May 1.
We’ll gather as always in the Centralia library meeting room at 5:30. Bring your ideas, energy and ways to mark the 200th birthday of Centralia’s big-hearted (and non-presidential) founder, George Washington.
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Brian Mittge will continue climbing mountains the old-fashioned way — slowly. Drop him a line at brianmittge@hotmail.com or connect on Twitter @bmittge.
