I don’t imagine I’m alone in this, but I sure didn’t think I would ever be buttoning my heavy wool sweater near the end of August. Call it the exception that proves the rule, if you want, but if you go back a few years in these columns, you’ll be reminded that I’ve often predicted that the first two weeks in September will be filled with the most enjoyable weather of the year — just when the kids are being cooped up in school.
By now, I’ve given up on the idea that anyone will take me seriously when I’ve suggested that the start of school be two weeks later in September — when weather is usually beautiful — and those two weeks be added to June when it rains more times than not. As I’ve pointed out before, there’s no law against this change. State law requires only the number of days that schooling must be held, not the calendar dates.
Changing the subject, have you seen the TV ad where a lady in a gambling venue is hitting something out of sight, numerous times and as rapidly as possible? I haven’t the slightest notion on what machine she’s playing; my knowledge of gambling pretty much ended waiting for three revolving cylinders to end up with three cherries in a row.
What caught my attention was the realization that I can’t remember when — or if — I’ve seen a man doing the playing. It always seems to be a woman — a good looking one — hitting a button or pulling a lever. I realize that dates me even further because — except for poker, dice, bingo and roulette — just about everything seems to be determined by computer.
There’s one other thing about those ads: They, of course, only show someone winning. They don’t focus the camera on one of those ladies (older ones this time) walking home, crying, because the last bit of her pensions just went down the drain and she has no idea how she’ll pay for her next meal.
What I’d like to see is one of our state legislators introduce a bill that will make it illegal for any TV commercial to show someone actively engaged in gambling without also requiring a disclaimer stating both orally and on screen the possible percentage of losing at that specific activity.
And wouldn’t it be refreshing if each and every gambling device operating in the state of Washington were also required to apply the percentage of winning and losing that could be expected. I know that, since most casinos are on reservation land, applying such limitations is difficult — if not impossible — to enforce. I also know that most legislators would be reminded of how much campaign money would be subjected to withdrawal if the matter were ever to come to a vote.
Enough of that. Does it seem to you that progress can sometimes get sidetracked? In my eventually successful search for malted milk powder, this dichotomy (go ahead, look it up) struck me. Does it strike you, as both strange and sad, that drug stores which used to deal in banana splits, sundaes and malted milk shakes now put the emphasis on sales of whiskey and wine?
The other side of that question is that before emphasis was put on soda fountains, opium, morphine and heroin were available across the counter? I saw an ad from the 19th century, online, where morphine was recommended to help children get through the teething process.
Another question — more personal this time — is there any way to keep yellow jackets from supping at humming bird feeders outside of a large fly swatter and a net?
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Bill Moeller is a former entertainer, mayor, bookstore owner, city council member, paratrooper and pilot living in Centralia. He can be reached at bookmaven321@comcast.net.
