Denise Miño, left, with her foster children David and Ashton after a Sunday service. The family participated in a public adoption ceremony Thursday, Nov. 15 for National Adoption Day.
Five years ago, when Danilo Miño was 13 years old, three children he didn’t know came to live with him, his mother and his father in their three-bedroom house in Tenino.
His mother, Denise Miño, began immediately renovating their office into a spare bedroom for the trio. For how long? They weren’t sure. It was an interesting time, Danilo said. One that taught him a lot of responsibilities and that he wouldn’t trade for the world.
“Everyone who lives in a house with a baby learns to change a diaper once or twice,” Danilo said. “It was a different experience to grow up with foster siblings, but it’s definitely one that I would recommend.”
David, Ashton and Salvador Estrada’s mother had health issues that impeded her ability to take care of her children. Denise knew their mother through church and, in 2013, offered to take the children in for an unspecified amount of time.
David, now 13 years old, and Ashton Miño, now 6 years old, finalized their adoption Thursday, Nov. 15 at the Thurston County Family and Juvenile Courthouse during a public event for National Adoption Day in which eight adoptions were finalized.
Getting to this point was a difficult process, Denise said, but extremely worth it.
After five years of insecurity, navigating the process and paperwork of adoption, keeping contact with their biological mother and working with social workers, Denise said she can rest assured that the kids she brought in will have a secure home.
“It’s been a hard, hard five years,” Denise said. “You don’t know for sure if your kids will be with you long term.”
Denise said David and Ashton are happy living with them. She said David wants to legally change his name to Daniel, in honor of Denise’s husband. Salvador Estrada, now 20-years-old, aged out of foster care and currently keeps close ties with his biological mother.
“People think ‘oh, they’re not your real kids,’ but you develop this bond that these kids are as your own,” Denise said. “This is our new definition of family.”
Although unique, the Miño’s situation is quite common among foster families around the United States. Twenty percent of foster children wait five years or more to be adopted, said Thurston County Superior Court Judge Christine Schaller at a recent commissioners meeting.
According to the Washington State Department of Children, Youth and Families (DCYF), There are currently about 1,900 foster children in Washington state, Judge Schaller said. Each year, thousands of children “age out” of the foster care system.
Denise’s sisters were the ones that inspired her to take in the three children during their time of need. Her two sisters are the guardians of 13 foster and adoptive children, she said.
“They provided lots of mentoring to me over the process,” Denise said. “When you put your heart into this deeply, it can hurt.”
She’s also a member of a foster parent Facebook group, where members share information and resources for attorneys, navigating the process and working through the paperwork.
Within the coming years, Denise said she hopes to continue improving their education and provide for them a stable, loving home. She said the boys experienced early childhood trauma from the transition, which has affected their education development.
Denise said they’re still in touch with their biological mother, and looking back, she understands the circumstances that brought the boys into her life.
“It’s a labor of love. You don’t do this because there’s some sort of big payoff. You want to help, you want to make a difference in the world,” Denise said. “These are my two little starfish that I threw back into the ocean.”
