From Suicidal to Inspirational: Chehalis Facility Gives Women a Fresh Start

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On the day Kayten Arms was going to kill herself, she learned of an opportunity that would forever change her life and provide hope for her future.

The 23-year-old grew up in a home plagued with addiction. At a very young age, she began experimenting with drugs to escape her home life.

Her addiction spiraled out of control and she gave birth to her first child at 17 years old. Just 10 months later, Arms had another child. She said the she did her best to be a good mother, but her addiction got the best of her. Child Protective Services took her children away, and Arms lost hope.

“I brought myself further and further down in the pit I made for myself trying to escape from everything that I had made an existence out of,” she said.

Living in a tent in the woods, Arms continued to battle against addiction. She was arrested and forced to detox, where she discovered she was pregnant yet again. 

“I screamed and I cried and threw myself on the floor and said, ‘I can’t do this again,’” Arms said. “There is no way they are going to take my baby from me as soon as he’s born.” 

She decided at that time she was going to be a mother to her new son. She made improvements in her life and was able to walk out of the hospital with her baby boy. But that would not last long. Arms could not stay away from the drugs, and eventually CPS was called on her again. They took her son — her third child — away from her.

That’s when Arms decided she was going to end her life, she said. 

She went so far as to get a gun from a friend.

One phone call would change her mind, and her life thereafter.

“My cousin called me just the same time I was walking out the door and told me about Safe (Family Ministries),” Arms said. 

 

Safe Family Ministries is a registered public charity that provides a home-like atmosphere and lifestyle training for women at its sprawling facility off of Jackson Highway south of Chehalis. The volunteer-run program provides services for those who have experienced “hurts and hangups.”

Executive Director and Pastor Donald Moor said many of the women in the program struggle from addiction. The purpose of the ministry is to teach women to be physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially healthy by completing a one-year faith-based process. 

Many of the women have made poor decisions in their life, but Moor said 90 percent of those they help were abused before the age of 12, so they never developed the right chemicals in their brain to make adult decisions.

“Many of them come with that kind of damage and many come with the idea that they caused it,” he said. 

In order to get them back on their feet, Moor said, Safe teaches them processes to sort out their problems and move on to something better. 

While abiding by strict rules, the women receive residential living, counseling, financial and personal management classes, as well as Bible study and community resource interfacing.

 

The facility contains a labyrinth of rooms, each decorated in a personalized way to help eliminate an institutional feel. In the past, the building was a tuberculosis hospital and hosted a series of convalescent homes. In 2004, the building was condemned by the fire department, but Moor’s mission to help women who need it spurred a fundraising opportunity to buy the property.

It was purchased in 2008, after the ministry leased it for several years. 

Parts of the building remain in a state of disrepair due to a lack of money for capital improvements. Moor has many visions and dreams for the place. Volunteers and missionary workers have helped him accomplish some of those, but with a tight budget, progress is only made when funds are available.

The facility’s expenses average from $10,000 to $12,000 a month. About 60 percent of the funds come from donors, while the other 40 percent is acquired through program fees from the individual residents staying at Safe Family Ministries. 

Originally, the services provided at the ministry were free, but Moor said that didn’t work because women would only stay short-term, creating more of a shelter-like atmosphere.



“That wasn’t our design,” Moor said. “Our design is lifestyle training so they are equipped to leave here and be independent.” 

Women pay $300 a month to stay, but Moor said a lack of finances is never a reason someone leaves. 

“The truth is if you really want a new beginning, we are going to find resources so you can stay,” he said.

Currently, the ministry has 14 residents, many who have children. Although their occupancy allows for 69 women and their children, Moor said the ministry does not have enough resources for more than 20 women.

“It’s an all-volunteer army, so we don’t want to do a disservice to anyone so we can only take on what we have volunteers for,” he said.

Typically, those completing the program stay for one year, but Moor said some stay an additional year to ensure they have the right skills to transition into the real world again. 

The ministry helps place women in apartments once they complete or graduate from the course, and even helps furnish their new homes with donations. 

All of the women who graduate from the program are told they have a place to come back to if circumstances get the best of them again, Moor said.

“We tell graduates that they’ll never be homeless again as long as we have this campus,” he said. “That means if some disruption would occur, they call us up, and as long as they abide by the campus rules, they are allowed to stay here.” 

 

The work done at the ministry is rewarding, but Moor said it is also leads to disappointments. 

“The disappointment comes when you see the potential in someone and you see them walk away from it all,” he said. 

Although the experience can be “crushing,” he said the positives far outweigh the negatives, one of the reasons he’s continued in his position for the last 10 years. 

“The counter to that is when you see absolutely broken families that didn’t have any chance at all to be reconciled, and we have witnessed them reconciled,” he said. 

Jenean Woods, a volunteer decorator at the ministry, said the changes created in the women’s lives are what it is all about. She’s been volunteering at the ministry for 3 1/2 years.

“I see gals come in off the street and they have a warm bed and their lives are changed,” she said. “My part is to give them a little bit of pretty and a welcoming.”

The ministry is celebrating its 10th anniversary, a milestone Moor never thought he would see. Safe Family Ministries has remained open because of what Moor described as one miracle after another. The kindness of donors, and volunteers, has allowed the facility to keep operating and changing lives.

 

For women like Arms, Safe Family Ministries may be their last hope. After checking into the facility a day after she received the phone call from her cousin, Arms was able to regain custody of her son. He’s been with her for a year and a half, and the skills Arms has learned through her time at Safe Family Ministries have changed her life.

“I’ve learned how to be a mom for the first time in my life. I’ve learned how to support a family; I’ve even had the opportunity to lead one of my best friends to the Lord through this program,” she said. 

Arms said it is important for other women who are struggling to know they are not alone. 

“They just have to accept the hand that’s being held out to them,” she said. “Sometimes it’s so hard to see it in the midst of everything that’s going on in your life, but there is someone that does want to help them.”