Editor’s note: Today, The Chronicle tells what could easily be a hidden story of life in Lewis County, with the intention of helping report the diverse experiences of our neighbors.
Tina Alexis always knew she was a woman, ever since she was a little boy.
She used to play with dolls, liked to wear her little sister’s pretty clothing, and consistently wore makeup.
Though the 50-year-old Logan District resident is currently equipped with male genitalia, she prefers the female title as she works her way through the process of gender reconstruction.
Tina is a transsexual, defined as anyone who believes they should be or are truly the opposite sex.
“I felt female ever since I can remember,” Tina said Wednesday. “Now I want it to show on the outside. My size sort of gives me away.”
Indeed, at 6 feet 2 inches tall, Tina’s stocky build is contrasted by the purple and pink highlights in her hair and the floral-print dress she wore Wednesday. She said a face lift, hormone treatments and genital reconstruction will fix that.
But the process of physically changing a male into a female is a long and taxing one — not only for the doctors who need proof that Tina wants to go through with the surgery, but for Tina herself. The decision comes with a vast array of drama, emotion and self-reflection, she said.
Stuck Inside a Man’s Body
Tina said she wouldn’t have even considered the change 30 years ago. Homophobia was much more widespread, even in areas such as Seattle and Portland that now have a growing acceptance for the gay and transsexual community, she said.
Still struggling with her sexual identity throughout her 20s, Tina tried everything to try and stay masculine: she drove a pickup truck, worked manual labor jobs, attempted a husky voice, and even got married and conceived two kids.
She and her ex-wife divorced in 1999, but she still has an ongoing, stable relationship with her 15-year-old son and 18-year-old daughter.
“You go through a lot of mental issues in this process,” she said. “I’ve lost friends and family over it, but made plenty of new ones.”
She said her parents and many of her siblings turned their backs on her since she came out as a woman nearly six months ago, though she said she still has supportive friends.
But it wasn’t easy living a lie for so long.
“I started becoming suicidal as a man trying to look masculine, and I couldn’t take it anymore,” she said. “I felt feminine anyway, and thought people would figure me out.”
She said she waited cautiously for the time when her kids would be old enough to understand the change, as well as a time when she’d be more accepted in American society.
Taking on the Persona
In order to undergo the genital reconstructive surgery, doctors require that the patient look, act, and feel like the opposite gender every day for at least a year. Patients also go through therapy sessions where psychologists determine whether they’re fit to make such a decision.
Tina changed her name from John in April by recommendation of one of those therapists. She paints her nails, wears jewelry and has girlfriends help her pick out matching outfits that women would wear.
Since she stands out as her female persona, she’s had her fair share of problems. She was attacked recently by five men while visiting her daughter in Corvallis. She said the men started calling her “fag,” surrounded her on the street and punched her.
She was assaulted again at a bar in Chehalis, when a woman came up and groped her while she sang karaoke.
She didn’t call the police on either occasion. She was too scared and shocked.
The fear most likely stems from a sexual molestation case involving a Seattle Catholic priest when she was 12 or 13 years old, she said. She said that case was later settled in court.
Now somewhat fearful of men, Tina said she prefers women sexually and considers herself a lesbian.
“I don’t really go to places with bikers or rednecks anymore,” Tina said. “I frequent a lot of gay bars, or places that are more friendly so I can do karaoke.”
As she gains a repertoire of accepting friends, the fear is slowly dissipating, she said.
Friends in Centralia said she’s strong for going through with her commitment. One said she supports Tina in whatever she does, and is protective of her in public situations.
The Procedure
Dr. Gary Alter is a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills, Calif., specializing in male-to-female reconstruction for the past 13 years. Tina will undergo the surgery in Thailand, where many of her transsexual friends have traveled for a cheaper operation, but Alter offered some insight as to how the reconstruction works.
He said before a patient reaches him, they’ve already gone through hormone treatment that will give a man breasts, as well as therapy to make sure their decision is the right one.
Tina will start hormone treatment in Portland next week in order to grow real breasts. The process continues with surgery in about a year or two, when doctors will use existing male parts to create new genitalia.
Alter said once the surgery is successful, there should be no concern that new medical problems will arise.
Tina was rejected by Lewis County doctors who didn’t believe she needed hormone treatment or reconstruction surgery, so she said she’ll have to relocate to Portland for a while to find good doctors.
Advice
Tina said it’s important for anyone who’s gay, transsexual, straight or otherwise to be themselves. People will eventually accept differences, she said, even worship centers like the Unity church she attends regularly in Centralia.
She said there is always going to be some level of inner turmoil when someone holds a secret, so let it out.
“I finally feel free now,” Tina said. “I’ve endured many hardships over the years, but I’m the happiest right now than I’ve ever been in my whole life.”
Andy Campbell: (360) 807-8208
pincurlgurl
Tina should be commended for her bravery in her "comingout" as transsexual. She will make others with this condition have a much easier time in this community. This condition is medically recognized and has a cure; surgery and hormone treatments. However, speicallists do not tend to practice in small communities and most insurences do not cover the costs.As for people who like use the bible, their religion or God to use as insult or assult, check youself. Thou shalt to judge. We are here on earth to do right by ourselves and others, not to point fingers or impose judgement. Unconditional love is just that; unconditional.
Garrett15
notasnowballs:"They just saved each others' behinds when their enemies were trying to kill them, in a manly way."Read that twice. Sounds like god just contradicted himself. ha.
gphx
A few years ago a female friend announced she was leaving her husband to marry someone at the end of a journey much like Tina's. I had to have the situation explained to me a few times but in the end it was a matter of whether I was for or against happiness. If God went to so much trouble to make someone exactly what someone else prayed for perhaps that was the reason.
notasnowballs
Well, I agree that man tries to justify sin, and that homosexuality is wrong. We still have freedom of speech to say that for a little while longer, until legislation twists the Constitution yet again to deny us that right under the "hate speech" laws. However, on a different note, how many heterosexuals do you see standing out for everyone to see , going "Hey! I'm heterosexual! I like the opposite sex and it is what defines me!!! NOTICE ME!!!" Few, if any. It is proof that there is an inherent mental issue here, in which people need to use their sexual preferences and their genitalia to define who they are. Even without God in the equation (which I firmly believe God MUST be in the equation), that speaks to me of a mental problem in these people. Also, I see again and again stories of people being molested as a child, and then deciding they are "gay" later. Perhaps they were just really messed up in the head from being molested? No, wait, they were "born that way", right? This man states he was molested as a kid. It's so obvious. But again, as with abortion, I believe that is wrong as well, but I don't think having hatred and standing there telling a person they are wrong, wrong, wrong, is going to change their mind and turn them from their sin. Only prayer can do that. Also, there comes a time when you can only just love the person and hate the sin. I have friends of the family that are gay and they are very nice people, but we all are in understanding that I really hate what they are doing and I think it's gross. I wish they could just be really good friends, because they really do seem to be emotionally supportive to each other. It's just sad that they have to create homosexual "love" out of that, instead of just love as a best friend. Even in the Bible David was friends with John, the king's son, and they were such good friends, they loved each other. This scripture is often twisted into supporting gay love, but it is not gay love in any way. It is just two men that created a bond of friendship so strong that they loved each other. Like best friends love each other. They did not kiss, they did not have sex, they did not fondle one another, and they did not proclaim to the world their affection for one another and demand that we all be hunky dorey with that. They just saved each others' behinds when their enemies were trying to kill them, in a manly way. Go figure.
studious_mom
Great feature topic. While this town is in many respects a great town, the somewhat close-minded attitudes I often run into (as well as the lack of a Target, Costco or Fred Meyers) makes it a difficult place to live for a former citizen of both Olympia and Renton. I hope more generously-minded articles aimed at opening minds and hearts are written in the future.As a final note -- I can understand disapproving of another person's life decisions due to your personal values. However, no matter your personal values or disagreements with another person, physical and verbal violence and abuse is a depraved, cowardly response. If you do not like a person's life or personal choices, keep it to yourself. I'm an atheist, personally, but I do not make it a habit to deride and abuse in public those who practice what I view as archaic religious rituals. It's simply not polite or appropriate.
pickelw65
Laurie, if God does not tolerate sin why then should man. Man is sinful by nature. He has a propensity to do wrong. We, me, you and others must not, shoudl not, can not "tolerate" what God hates. God hates sin. What John is doing is sin. I can't tolerate my child disobeying me. I can't tolerate someone stealing from me etc... We have to go back to what God said, not what man says. God is love, but he hates sin. Please understand that I do not hate John. I hate that he was molested and had something stolen from him. But God is a God of grace and mercy and forgiveness. People stare because it is not natural. They stare because all know that it is wrong. You are right, John should never be taunted or assaulted. Both are wrong. The answer is to confront with love. Not to accept his sin, or bondage but to give him a hope. Parents should teach their children to be kind, but not accepting of the sin.
rainsoaked
Is this the best the chronicle can do?? Laugh out Loud....time for some change.
pickelw65
God did not make a mistake with John. He was created as a man to live as a man. Confussion does not equate to mistake. Hangin grapefruits on an apple tree does not make it a grapefruit tree. The tree will still always produce apples. John is a man and will always be a man. Change the plumbing, the name and wax the eyesbrows but he will always be a man. Johns confussion will increase as time goes on. His desire to be with woman sexually is natural for a man. It is normal and someon years ago should have told him this. I feel for John. He is sad and lonely and needs to be loved and cared for...as he was created. Gender is not a choice of men but a gift from God. John should celebrate his maleness and not be ashamed of it. Sexual deviances is part of mans sinfull nature. We can call it what we want to help justify the guilt. We can try to legislate morality, but sin will always be sin by any name. John...embrace Gods gift of creating you as a man in his image! He loves you.