Across the SWW Fair Midway, One Food Truck at a Time

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My palette isn’t refined, per se, but I’ve always liked to eat. After receiving the fair food assignment (read: immediately raising my hand at the prospect of receiving a free lunch), I got a lot of input from people about “quintessential” fair food. 

Some were disappointed with my food choices, but as a Southwest Washington Fair newbie, this is what sounded appealing. Ultimately, the food in this article was chosen based on what seemed like a fair staple, or what just sounded kind of strange.

The Southwest Washington Fair officially kicked off on Tuesday. It’s an event that essentially centers around showing animals, but one of the best byproducts of this nearly week-long event is the food. The fried, sweet, delicious, fattening, calorie-abundant food.

Chronicle Editor Natalie Johnson came with me to document my adventure and reporter Will Rubin tagged along as well.

I asked Natalie how much food we were allowed to buy at the fair Wednesday morning. She didn’t give me a price, but said, “I wore a dress so that I can expand.”

Our plan was simple — walk through the main drag of the fair and pick five things to try. Here was our experience.

 

Food Choice No. 1: Pork Mac

“Mac and Cheese Whaaaaaat?” had a fair-specific menu that included multiple versions of that old classic macaroni and cheese.

Andy Smirnov, who was running the stand when we stopped by, said he only recently started working at Mac and Cheese Whaaaaaat?. He runs the business with his friend, Aric Pankalla, who started two years ago. Pankalla’s father-in-law owns it.

“We still eat our own food,” Smirnov said. “Even after doing it a long, long time, sometimes we will just sit around and make up crazy menu ideas like ‘what would go good on mac and cheese?’”

The stand had a tip jar labeled “newborn baby college fund.” Smirnov said Pankalla had a baby girl three weeks ago, and his own wife is expecting around Halloween. After discussing potential baby names, Smirnov suggested we try the Pork Mac.

“My buddy came up with the recipe,” Smirnov said. “It was really through trial and error, but we just figured we would try and make the cheesiest mac and cheese. That’s the whole point. I think we have seven cheeses in there. The toppings — we just throw around ideas and whatever sounds good that’s what we do.”

The Pork Mac had macaroni and cheese on the bottom and was topped with pork and sweet barbeque sauce. My only criticism was that my spork was too small. I attempted to use two sporks as chopsticks to funnel more food into my mouth, but I do not recommend that.

 

Food Choice No. 2: Strawberry Shortcake

After the Pork Mac, we were ready for a lighter choice. Our next stop was Fisher Scones, where we sampled the strawberry shortcake. Strawberry shortcake sounded great at the time, but looking back, we should have bought a scone at the scone truck.

I watched a few people in the truck make scones in an assembly line. The manager told me they can make up to 1,000 scones an hour this way. She added that it’s more like 300-400 at the fair.

“You should hear all the people’s comments about the scones,” said Jo Ell Best, who worked in the truck. She mimicked their typical customer: “It’s not the fair unless we get a scone!”

The scones have raspberry jam and real butter. The people working in the scone truck insisted that people who order scones tend to get about a dozen each.

“We have a premix and we mix it back there,” Best said, pointing to the other end of the truck. “We dump it out and we weigh it, cut it and bake it.”

Our group found a table to test the shortcake and document reactions. The shortcake came with as much whipped cream as it did strawberries and shortcake. I was a fan. So were Natalie and Will. 

At this point, I wrote in my notes, “Natalie and Will are hovering around my food. I feel like one of those caged animals at the zoo when they feed them at 5 p.m. It’s a mix of taking photos and stealing my food. There’s too much (to eat) but I’m strangely territorial.”



 

Food Choice No. 3: Fried Pickles

Pickles alone are incredibly underrated, so I had high hopes for fried pickles.

“It’s a trend and well-received,” said Jody Lane, who owns and operates Frying Dutch Girl. She noted that fried pickles are best with a sriracha aioli sauce. There was almost no wait time for the fried pickles. They came in small slices and were an easy snack for the three of us to share.

Lane said the “Wicked Waffle” was her favorite item on the menu. It consisted of crispy chicken breast fritter, smokey bacon, cheese and maple aioli. It was served on grilled waffles. Will ordered one for himself.

The first few minutes that I held the tray of fried pickles, I wasn’t sure how I felt about them. I ate a couple, tried to take a video of Natalie eating some, then forgot about them for a while.

At this point, our group sat at a table in the shade with two men whose wives were exploring the fair. We offered them fried pickles, but they declined. 

Eventually, I grew tired of the fried pickles. I wandered off to convince a guy running the T-Mobile stand to give me one of the hot pink traffic cones decorating his booth. He didn’t, so I went back, defeated, to eat a few more fried pickles. This is when I finished the tray on my own and decided they were great.

 

Food Choice No. 4: Giant Turkey Leg

IZZY’s was one of the larger food establishments at the fair. This was where we found the iconic giant turkey leg — something I had never eaten before.

Lloyd Burns was the man preparing the turkey legs that day. He said that he had been cooking legs about eight years. I asked if he had any advice for a turkey-leg-eating newbie.

“Yes,” Burns said. “Grab it and eat it. It’s just like a chicken leg, except bigger.”

There was a brief debate at our table on whether or not the turkey leg was actually a turkey leg. We discussed how big turkeys are for about five minutes and I realized I’ve never seen a turkey up close. The two strangers at our table agreed that the leg looked too big to be a turkey leg. Will looked at me like I was an idiot and Natalie tried to take a video of me eating the leg.

I made a mental list of local bars I plan to suggest the fried snack to. 

 

Food Choice No. 5: Lemonade

After the macaroni and cheese, strawberry shortcake, fried pickles and turkey leg, I was ready for a cuddle and a nap. Natalie and Will said they couldn’t help me there. 

We set out to get five items, though, so we still needed something else.

I copped out and got lemonade. The stand was in the shape of a lemon and the slogan was “We Squeeze to Please,” which made me, Natalie and Will laugh.

Gabriel Montgomery, who was making the lemonade, said they go through about 1,500 lemons every day.

“We try to make every cup perfect,” Montgomery said. “If you want more lemon or sugar in there, let me know. And you get free ice water fill-ups with these cups.”

After our fair food meal extravaganza, the three of us waddled to our cars and back to the office to face the rest of the workday somewhat larger than we were before.